GOODBYE 2020!! You will NOT be missed!
Usually when I say goodbye, I say it sweetly, like my farewell cake when we moved back to the mainland.
Or this cake I just made for a sweet, sweet coworker who, after 10 amazing years working for this establishment, left to welcome an incredible job opportunity!
We all know why 2020 does not deserve this sweetness, but do you know why my former coworker does? Let me tell you all about it:
Once upon a time… (back in 2020)
In a far away land… (Maui, Hawaii)
There lived a young princess… (more like mid-thirties-ish court jester, but it’s my story, so I’ll be a princess if I please.)
This “young” “princess” had the glorious opportunity to move to the happening city of San Francisco, where an amazing job lay in wait for her in a beautiful castle. (It’s a former morgue, but hey - my story!) (Also I just realized that this explains a lot about why it is SO COLD in there and most of us have space heaters at our desks. Huh.)
And what to this “young” “princess’s” delight, there were several other princesses who worked at this new job, too!
There was the head princess, whose sweet words and supportive leadership style allowed everyone’s talents to blossom like a magnolia in May and put all the previous boy leaders I had princessed for to shame. #Slay
There was the supermodel princess, who in addition to being stunningly beautiful - seriously, the whole kingdom talked about her beauty - was also amazing at her princess duties and was incredibly kind. Not a combo you often find outside of fairy tales. #UnicornsDoExist
There was the treasure princess who commanded a realm of gold coins and gifts that I never understood, but who always offered to help me out with my princess endeavors all the while keeping the princess office stocked with chocolate bon-bons. #NotAllHerosWearCapes
And there was the data princess, who preferred her own company but her dry humor and impressive in-depth knowledge about random facts was so damn awesome that the other princesses couldn’t do a minute of their princessing without her. #BrainsAndBeauty
These princesses were some of the smartest princesses in the land, to boot. They taught me how to fit into the kingdom’s culture with ease, and bonded with me over our love of good food, feminism, and googly eyes.
But as we know, all good things must come to an end. The supermodel princess, who always let me rant about how many times my royal carriage (bicycle) almost got hit by the crazy drivers of the kingdom on my way to the castle, and who always let me choose which chef should deliver our royal feast (lunch via DoorDash), was called away for a golden opportunity in another land.
And a gloom settled over the kingdom. Even for the supermodel princess who was leaving us.
Which was my cue to whip up a royal confection to sweeten up (pun intended) the kingdom.
During my first week of princessing in this new castle, I brought a batch of my famous salted chocolate chip cookies to buy the love of everyone in the kingdom. It worked, because the princesses all enjoyed a cookie or two, never once alluding to reasons that they couldn’t have some, like watching their figures or being vegan/gluten free or are currently protesting the ideology behind cookies or whatever other ridiculous reasons people have for not eating deliciousness. (Have I mentioned how much I really like these women!?) Since my cookies knocked it out of the park the first time I brought them in, I knew that I could build a confection off of this flavor profile and be successful.
To assemble this “Farewell Sweet Princess” cake, I chose my classic vanilla cake recipe and paired it with a delicious brown sugar frosting with chocolate chips to mimic the flavor of chocolate chip cookies.
I then covered the cake with my favorite Italian buttercream and rolled it in multi-colored sprinkles. I love using the rolling technique for sprinkles (I used it to decorate this sprinkle cake) because it keeps my kitchen much cleaner than by grabbing fistfuls of sprinkles and shoving them into the frosting all the while hoping it sticks to the cake instead of falling on the kitchen floor. And with my (lack of) natural grace and aim, it’s a sure thing that they would all fall to the floor where I would eventually have to vacuum them up causing such a raucous with the vacuum cleaner that would cause the cat to go into hiding for hours on end (not that I have a cat, but that’s what spilling sprinkles does to your household. However if I had a dog, I know for certain that those sprinkles would be lapped up in an instant and that I wouldn't have to vacuum at all).
Tip of the week: I decided to use the sprinkles as a bottom border for this cake. To create this look, I drew and cut out a border pattern across a strip of parchment paper and wrapped it around the cake, exposing the bottom of the cake. To perform this technique make sure that you have a cake board on both the top and bottom of the cake so you’ll have a place to hold the cake while rolling it in sprinkles. If you're only planning to coat part of the cake and are using parchment to block off your design, a word to the wise: scotch tape does not stick to silicone coated parchment paper, as you will see in this video. #IStruggled May I suggest something stronger, like rope or a chain, or even a chastity belt. You know, something that will never come off.
Furthermore, if you are the non-artsy type and you need everything to be symmetrical and even, I suggest you look away when I peel the parchment off the cake to reveal the sprinkle border. It is whimsical and lovely and nothing at all that Type A’s will enjoy.
Also as you will see in this video, I poured an extra thick (I really want to call it chunky, but some people react badly to that word) dark chocolate drip over the top and nestled a beautiful 6” chocolate chip cookie on top of it. This thing is a stroke of genius and I think I may have to top all of my cakes with a big @$$ cookie from now on. Maybe that could be my signature cake style whenever I open my dream bakery. Leave me a comment to let me know what you think about this idea - I feel like I'm on to something!
Even so, all of that chocolate chip cookieness just wasn’t royal enough for this court, I had to go one step further and nestle SIX MORE salted chocolate chip cookies on top of fresh whipped cream double rosettes and then finished it off with more sprinkles.
With everything that 2020 did to us, its one last offense against me was stealing one of my beloved princesses. But alas, it did inspire some great creativity within me (like this cake). #SilverLining
Don’t forget to let me know what you think about my cookie topper idea and if you think it should be something I do for all of my cakes in my future bakery, or if it should just be something that I offer as an add-on.
Happy eating, y’all!